As I luxuriated in this time, I paused periodically to pray for anyone that the Lord brought to mind. It was during one of these pauses that He laid someone on my heart whose one month old daughter was just diagnosed with a heart condition. Already having a young son who has had to undergo open heart surgery to correct a hole, she was greatly alarmed when the doctors did not like the sounds that they heard when listening to her daughter's heart. Terror had gripped her, and she had prayed for good news. That the sounds would not end up being a hole. Unbelievably, the specialists ended up finding that the baby's heart had not only one, but two holes. She was due to see the specialists again the very next morning for another examination and to be given a prognosis. Sensing that I should pray at that moment, I obeyed without hesitation. As I prayed over the situation, I heard the Lord whisper the words of Matthew 7:9 to me: "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?"
I thought of this precious mother praying that her child would not have a hole in her heart. I remembered the devastating findings. My heart ached for this child of God who asked her Father for bread, but got what seemed like a stone instead. I was able to send an e-mail to her and share about the special time of prayer for her and the baby. I told her how sorry I was for her that it must seem like she got a stone instead of the bread she prayed for. I reminded her that if we, in our fallen state, want to do good for our children, how much more does the Lord. I encouraged her to cling to the hope that we have in Christ and to remember that His grace will always be sufficient for us.
As it turns out, it was a God moment. The e-mail was very needed at that particular time. As I reflect on this situation I am struck with a realization. I had been praying for my son's recovery and hadn't received it in a timely manner. Being forced to stay home with him had given me the time I needed to hear God and communicate with this mother. Had my son improved enough for us to all attend church that day, I would have missed the double blessing that resulted. It always feels so rewarding to see the outcome of something that you obeyed the Lord in. Conversely, it always feels so horrible to have that feeling niggling at you that you have not obeyed! I have found that if I do not obey with relative immediacy, the enemy is very skillful at causing me to second guess. I am so glad that did not happen in this case.
This instance has me pondering the times in my life when it has felt like I have received a stone instead of bread from my Father. It can be hard to see it the way the Lord does. I know that my thoughts are not like His thoughts. My eyes see something that I did not want, but maturity has helped me to see that it must be God's love gift to me. He only allows things to slip through His fingers into my life if He intends to use it for good somehow. He cares much less about my comfort than He does about my relationship with Him. And the truth of the matter is that we tend to forget Him when things are going our way. Oftentimes, the "stones" that we receive are the very things that draw us closer to the One who made us to know Him and love Him. He knows what we don't always know: whether the bread that we pray for will bring us closer to Him or pull us further away from Him. And He acts accordingly... always in love. How thankful I am for that!
I encourage you to take in the picture I have included. If you look carefully you will be able to make out that a flower has been drawn on the rock, probably with a Sharpie marker. The girls and I found it in the river on one of our hikes. I don't know who made it like that or how it ended up in the water for us to see that day. But, when I look at it today, it helps me to see God's mercy. It reminds me that the adversity I often experience has a way of causing me to blossom under His loving care. Though He hands me a stone from time to time, it is meant to be a beautiful thing.
Father, thank You for all of your good gifts. Sometimes they are the bread I pray for and other times they seem to me like stones. Yet, they are all your love gifts to me. I am grateful that You are so patient with me and that You delight in speaking to me the way You do. I pray that I will always have ears to hear what You say to me. Help me to always be quick to obey You before the enemy brings doubt and steals the work You have for me. Be glorified in me, please! In the strong name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
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