Tuesday, July 17, 2012
As I write this blog entry, I have been largely disconnected for a month from the online community I once enjoyed. It was so hard at first, but I feel like the Lord had been moving me in that direction for quite some time. However, I had been reluctant to go that route until last month. So what has this past month been like?
For starters, I have had more time with the Lord. I knew that Facebook was taking up some of my time, but I don't think I realized just how much. It just wasn't my physical time either. I have realized that it was taking a lot of my mental time and energy, to the point of frazzling me! I found myself feeling all kinds of things that I don't think were helpful in my walk: fear, self-loathing (from comparison), frustration, to name a few. It seemed like my mind would never slow down.
All at once, I quit feeding all of that negativity and things began to quiet down. I had time to catch up on my work in the year-long Scripture memory program I had undertaken a while back. I had time to actually meditate on my devotions and Bible readings. Without the distraction of Facebook, I was able to concentrate more fully on taking care of my family and my home. In fact, over a period of two weeks, I taught my daughter how to swim and ride her bike. I have been able to consistently practice things that I have longed to do, but had somehow never quite gotten there.
Though this photo is stunning to me, it reminds me of something not as pretty: my own darkness. I see the silhouette of the trees in the light of the setting sun and it speaks to me. You see, the more I have bathed myself in God's light (immersing myself in His Word and endeavoring to really do what He tells me to do) the more I see my own sinfulness. I have such a long way to go, but I am thankful that He is perfecting me each and every day. I can only trust that I, despite my many imperfections, will look beautiful against the backdrop of His glorious light.